The Trials and Tribulations of Joey Santoni
The Trials and Tribulations of Joey Santoni By:Jon Stern Published on 2006-01-01 by Dorrance Publishing |Because Joey Santoni suffers from bipolar disorder, he was prescribed lithium by Dr. Maravelloso. When he decides to take steroids to beef himself up for football and baseball, the lithium and steroids interact to create a bullet-proof chest for Joey. He is discovered by Ike Eisenhower and eventually enlists in the Army to block bullets for Elvis Presley. After majoring in substance abuse counseling at DePaul University, he saves Clapton, Monroe, Hendrix, Morrison, Garcia, Densmore, Moon, Townshend, and Richards from destroying themselves. After serving in the Army, Joey becomes the bodyguard for JFK, RFK, MLK, Malcolm X, and John Lennon, preventing all of their assassinations and changing the course of history. Joey and his wife both write Pulitzer Prize winning works and begin working for Rolling Stone Magazine, through which they interview legends of Hollywood, music, sports, and...